Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

Windmills don't move.  They stand alone.  That wheel spins, and spins, and spins, but it gets nowhere.  However, on the inside electricity is being created for great currents of strength. I've been going like that windmill.  Seemingly I am going nowhere, but it is Christ that resurrects great power and strength inside of me that I cannot see.  His work is powerful and will be used for a noble purpose, even if I cannot see it being formed. "He said to me, 'You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.'"--Isaiah 49:3

No time to talk.  Let's just say in a bit I will reminisce on what God is teaching me, but for now this is all I have: As my brother-in-law put it, "It's not in the beginning of a time of fasting when you realize why God brought you to that place, but it's at the end.  It's when the hunger pains begin that we can either one--plan our first meal, or two--seek out understanding." This also reflects Jesus' life on earth as well.  It wasn't until the end of his life that he finally said, "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say?  'Father, save me from this hour'?  No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name!"--John 12:27-28 Father, glorify your name!

Friday, I looked down at my hands.  What would Rhett Butler think?  “Scarlet, you have work hands!” ran through my brain.  Each fingernail was jagged and dirty.  My bruise from the dog-bite has not completely healed on my left thigh.  Each knuckle on my right hand has a callous from millions of knocks, and my hair is brittle.  “Father, please let this end.” Now, I know this isn’t very positive thinking, but I believe I hit that moment.  It’s the moment where only God can come through to help me with these last eighteen days of selling.  Also on that day I was crying out to God and asking why, why He had not come through with as many sales as I’d have liked.  I kept wondering if it was something I had done.  I felt guilty.  “My blessings are not merit-based, Alicia, just as salvation is not based on what you do, but what has been finished ." "For is is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works,

Well I came out here to get exactly what I wanted.   I am utterly humbled by this.   Christ covers over my ungrateful heart and is teaching me thankfulness. There’s a lot changing around here.   There's t oo much God’s teaching me that I’m overwhelmed by all His waves.   I just know that He is my sanctuary.   What an oxymoron, but it’s exactly what I need.   As of right now--as I write this--I am letting go of something I’ve held onto so tightly that I need Jesus to lovingly hold onto me tighter to numb the pain.   For once, it’s non-book related. What I’m learning from this:   " I need You more, more than words can say." Everyday. Every moment. “The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary.”—Isaiah 8:13

Nicole was wearing a cute pair of brown ankle boots that set atop her wheelchair footrest.   That’s the second thought I had about her after the initial thought of being thankful I am able to walk.   I approached the brunette girl of age fourteen and asked if her mother was home.   “She’ll be back later.” As I walked back to my car I just knew, “Alicia go pray for her…If you can knock on doors, you can ask people if they know Jesus”.   My approach was less professional than the one I give for selling books. “Hi, uh…I know I’m out here selling books…and I…uh, well I’m not out here like a Jehova’s witness-er-anything, but do you know Jesus?” Nicole sweetly replied, “well, yes.”   I perhaps grilled Nicole with a few more confirming questions and then asked if I could pray for her. “Oh, and do you have a Bible?” “Well yes, but it’s stored away somewhere.” “Do you want mine?   I have two in my car.” “Yes, please.” After grabbing my pocket Bible from the car I ran and knelt down in-fro