Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

Many apologies extended to my three readers.   I know I never posted an ending to my summer excursions.   I’m sitting in the familiar orange chair at my Starbucks and I am trying to form sentences to finish off this adventure.   Slurring through my thoughts I am almost hostile with my thinking. “What the heck just happened to me?”   I won’t know for a long time, my friends.   Your guess is as good as mine.   I think God will use it for years to come.    “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the  glory  that will be  revealed  in us.”—Romans 8:18 Here’s a friendly reminder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=157ng8tkMDI

Windmills don't move.  They stand alone.  That wheel spins, and spins, and spins, but it gets nowhere.  However, on the inside electricity is being created for great currents of strength. I've been going like that windmill.  Seemingly I am going nowhere, but it is Christ that resurrects great power and strength inside of me that I cannot see.  His work is powerful and will be used for a noble purpose, even if I cannot see it being formed. "He said to me, 'You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.'"--Isaiah 49:3

No time to talk.  Let's just say in a bit I will reminisce on what God is teaching me, but for now this is all I have: As my brother-in-law put it, "It's not in the beginning of a time of fasting when you realize why God brought you to that place, but it's at the end.  It's when the hunger pains begin that we can either one--plan our first meal, or two--seek out understanding." This also reflects Jesus' life on earth as well.  It wasn't until the end of his life that he finally said, "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say?  'Father, save me from this hour'?  No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name!"--John 12:27-28 Father, glorify your name!

Friday, I looked down at my hands.  What would Rhett Butler think?  “Scarlet, you have work hands!” ran through my brain.  Each fingernail was jagged and dirty.  My bruise from the dog-bite has not completely healed on my left thigh.  Each knuckle on my right hand has a callous from millions of knocks, and my hair is brittle.  “Father, please let this end.” Now, I know this isn’t very positive thinking, but I believe I hit that moment.  It’s the moment where only God can come through to help me with these last eighteen days of selling.  Also on that day I was crying out to God and asking why, why He had not come through with as many sales as I’d have liked.  I kept wondering if it was something I had done.  I felt guilty.  “My blessings are not merit-based, Alicia, just as salvation is not based on what you do, but what has been finished ." "For is is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from your...

Well I came out here to get exactly what I wanted.   I am utterly humbled by this.   Christ covers over my ungrateful heart and is teaching me thankfulness. There’s a lot changing around here.   There's t oo much God’s teaching me that I’m overwhelmed by all His waves.   I just know that He is my sanctuary.   What an oxymoron, but it’s exactly what I need.   As of right now--as I write this--I am letting go of something I’ve held onto so tightly that I need Jesus to lovingly hold onto me tighter to numb the pain.   For once, it’s non-book related. What I’m learning from this:   " I need You more, more than words can say." Everyday. Every moment. “The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary.”—Isaiah 8:13

Nicole was wearing a cute pair of brown ankle boots that set atop her wheelchair footrest.   That’s the second thought I had about her after the initial thought of being thankful I am able to walk.   I approached the brunette girl of age fourteen and asked if her mother was home.   “She’ll be back later.” As I walked back to my car I just knew, “Alicia go pray for her…If you can knock on doors, you can ask people if they know Jesus”.   My approach was less professional than the one I give for selling books. “Hi, uh…I know I’m out here selling books…and I…uh, well I’m not out here like a Jehova’s witness-er-anything, but do you know Jesus?” Nicole sweetly replied, “well, yes.”   I perhaps grilled Nicole with a few more confirming questions and then asked if I could pray for her. “Oh, and do you have a Bible?” “Well yes, but it’s stored away somewhere.” “Do you want mine?   I have two in my car.” “Yes, please.” After grabbing my pocket Bible from the ca...

This post isn’t much about the previous week, but about what is to come.   Last week I learned a valuable lesson:   The power of spoken words.   It wasn’t until Friday night that I realized the words I was speaking to myself were bringing death rather than life. “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips.   Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.”—Psalm 141:3-4   What’s done is done.   Week seven is upon me, and even as I have the second half to accomplish, I feel it is the end.   God has called me to this summer for a specific purpose, but it has yet to be fulfilled.   He is asking me to be bold, and I this is only the surface of how deep He wants to take me.   I have also learned that being expectant of results is not a bad thing.   Last week I expected myself to sell a lot of books, and I did.   I finally...