Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

The feat of writing a post and explanation for what happened this past weekend has kept me from even attempting it for some days now.  How do you describe miracles but not as to cheapen the treasure of their testimony? First I must begin to explain who this man Steven is, and who he someday will be.  Skeptical, I have been for some years now which is why I categorize his existence as a miracle. He is strong.  Meek.  Authoritative in speech, and yet the most gentle of men.  He hates all the usual things like Wal-Mart and loves all the usual authors like G.K. Chesterton.  His brokenness before the Lord was what set him apart from the crowd for me.  I honor this man with words of encouragement. "Steven, you are dearly loved and anointed by Jesus.  Not because you have done great things for Him, but because your heart longs to make Him the focus.  You know He is good even in the desert seasons.  You have chosen Jesus.  You have a ...

"How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you."--Psalm 31:19 A year ago today I received a text message asking, "Are you going to France today?" My friend was correct.  I was at the gate at Eppley Airfield about to board my plane on my route towards Europe.   France would not have been nearly so sweet had the Lord not allowed the hard seasons before-hand.  I spent some recent summer moments sitting under the stars with this same friend and breathing in God's goodness.  I knew He had been storing up good moments like that for the future.  All that waiting finally made sense. We can remember--my avid followers--how I waited nearly two months before I finally got to see the Eiffel Tower while over there.  I believe the wait was for that perfect moment when I first saw it.  God was not keeping anything from me, but storing up as the verse in Psa...

I am frustrated and I feel convicted for the watered down message I, myself, preach.  I don't want to be too serious about sin.  I don't want to get on someone's bad side.  I jump around the depravity of man so I won't be hated, but I sometimes persuade people to pray a prayer and yet hardly address the need for repentance. I need to stop befriending people into hell.  I want to be honest, but also realize I can't save anyone, and I certainly did not find Jesus on my own. Unless we repent from our sin, we will never taste the goodness of Christ. Despise sin.  Pursue Jesus. "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes:  first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."--Romans 1:16

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I ever really liked dancing. I was driving today and this fourth grader grabbed my attention in the car next to me.  He was grinning at me, waving profusely.  I smiled and gave a little nod and waved back to him.  I don't have children, but I understand we more clearly see the nature of the human heart in a child, unadulterated by the need to keep up appearances.  The boy wanted to be noticed.  As do I. As my eyes went back to the road I remembered doing the same things when I was in fourth grade.  That was the age I first auditioned for the Nutcracker.  Then and there, I was chosen, accepted, and noticed for what felt like the first time. To be honest with myself, I've had plenty of opportunities to return to the stage after leaving ballet five years ago.  I have made appearances a few times and if I really pressed hard, I think I could have gone back into it as more than a hobby.  But, al...

In light of what I perceive to be "shortcomings" with following Jesus--though we have been learning that is ridiculous to think we had anything to do with our salvation--but, I was wondering, why didn't Jesus choose to come back after all the apostles were martyred?  They lived completely, wholeheartedly for Him.  I live comfortably.  It doesn't appear that I am doing anything presently that would get me killed for Christ.  I live in America. But He chose to endure the blaspheme of His Name, the incorrect interpretation of His scriptures, the loss of so much of His creation, to find that in 1989 one girl would bring Him pleasure to save.  He endured the crucifixion to have relationship with a woman that seems to not do much for Him in the natural. Talk about a love that I cannot explain. I could gather from all this that it seems I am His favorite. Take heart beloved, you are far more loved than you thought.  You are His favorite. "Do not be afr...

While staring blessing straight in the face and awkwardly trying to make sense of the goodness that I feel, I realize God has outdone me once again. If one looked at past posts, some might really begin to believe that I was an emotional wreck and constantly underneath a little black rain cloud.  Though I believe that rain cloud served a purpose to remind that prosperity isn't promised in a life following Jesus, I am still at a loss of what God has decided to go and do. He is blessing me. Not that I won't acknowledge that I'm surrounded by a constant life of goodness in His presence, but here I am with said blessing...and so I stare at it.  Poking.  Prodding.  Not sure what I can do with it except learn to wear it well and worship the One who gave it. The Psalmist went a little further to say that he lifted up his cup only to receive MORE.  More eternal Life, and more of Jesus, because the blessing only made him more acutely aware of his need for God. S...

My sweet cousin, Brooke, inspired me to write this post.  She blogs herself about her own journey with Jesus ( read it here! )  .  I don't know what I'm going to end up saying, except that God has been doing a lot in my heart, more than I can physically "see". When Jesus pursues my heart, I feel like it can hurt sometimes.  Because when He is pursuing me, it means that the world is not.  He actually won't even stand for it!  Talk about a jealous Lover.  It's interesting that I could even want this world over His affections. Alas, that is where I've found my heart this evening. "She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better off than now.'"--Hosea 2:7