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Stage Left

    

Hmm...ballet?  What's so special about ballet?  Well kids, it was a whole other world.  Let's just say I matured in many ways being in that world, only to leave it and find I neglected to grow up in others.  I don't think I really even noticed boys were "nice" until the age of 18.  But believe me, God knew I couldn't take growing up all at once.  He's been doing it in pieces.  I'm thankful I went through this sort of heartache of losing it because it was something I had embroidered on my heart.  Removing that was painful at the time, but I'm thankful that it's no longer my identity.  My heart's title now can say "child of God".

This weekend I was fortunate enough to perform a little bit with the re-formed ballet company (another glorifying story for another post entirely).  I stood off on stage left watching adorable dancers moving to some Frank Sinatra.  At first I started to cry because a part of me still grieved the death of that dream.  I compare this grief to the faint idea of a person dying "before their time".   It is almost more painful to watch it than to forget about it entirely.  Then I realized I was also crying because I felt out of place.


"Why am I going to college?  Lord, I feel so lost in this.  Did I make the wrong choice in changing directions?  Please show me your glory, because I can't understand anymore why I'm standing here and not out there."

The gentle voice of our loving Father said, "My glory is in your broken heart.  It shows that truly I am the only One that can satisfy in this world.  No matter your circumstances.  Trust me."

I know that it's still there.  I may not see it right away, but it's there.  I think about what could have been, yet I see God's glory in what actually is.  God is most glorified when my heart is most content in Him.

"Lord, please let it be so."

"You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.  I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."--Psalm 4:7-8

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