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Year Twenty-Two

Warning:  Open-hearted thoughts are stated and words like "intimacy" are used.

Here I am on the brink of my twenty-second year.  It feels good.  I feel like I’ve climbed a tall mountain and now I’m at the top, and as I look down on the vast expanse below I think, “how did I get here?”  God has accomplished so much in my heart.  Let us praise Him!

I’ve changed a lot this past year.  It’s not like I’ve lost ten pounds and got a tattoo of the Jesus fish on my ankle.  The difference is in the dark night of the soul.  It’s almost like when Crayola came out with the 24 box of crayons, then the set of 50, then the box of 100.  They added colors to the box of ten crayons that you didn’t know could exist.  In the end you’re glad for it, because it makes your picture much brighter.  Silly analogy?  I suppose, but that’s all I got.

One year ago today I was praying for what God would want for year twenty-one.  “Just Me and you…”  Even though I found myself alone with Jesus a lot (think summer), I crawled and squealed and sought after other things for my comfort.  The verse He gave to me a year ago was:

 “Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”—Isaiah 55:2

Regardless, God had His way and I was able to discover through some painful moments how JESUS IS THE ONLY THING THAT SATISIFIES!  Can I shout that out some more?!  How much more do I need to hear, understand, and know that truth?

I was almost afraid to hear what Jesus wanted for year twenty-two.  I was afraid He’d tell me “tough noogies, you will go through more of that pain because you fought me the first time ‘round.”  It was hard to hear through the noise around me, but I really believe Jesus will take me into deeper intimacy with Him.  He’s not harsh, He is loving, and the loneliness of this world fades away.  It's time I understood to Lover heart of God, and not just the Father or Friend--bold, I know! 

“Beloved.  Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth--for your love is more delightful than wine.”—Songs of Solomon 1:2

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