Psalm 27:4

Three nights ago I was flipping through a few red Moleskin journals from about a year ago.  They are lined with apologies.  Last week I went to a young adult group and heard a sermon on condemnation and the freedom we have from it in Christ.  Two weeks ago a dear friend prayed for me, “You’re head is down, but when you’re ready He wants to show you Himself.”  And two months ago, I received more prayer that said, “God wants you to know your worth”.

The same night I was reading the red journal entries I kept thinking of that verse, “One thing I ask Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple.”—Psalm 27:4  As I began to pray I found it was really hard to remove my hands from my face.  The utter idea of Jesus seeing me for who I am made me start to cry.  I couldn’t remove my hands as they grew wet with my tears. 

I felt God say to me so many things at that moment.  First there were a few verses of comfort shared from the sermon I heard a week ago.  I write all of these more for my own sake than my readers.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”—John 8:36

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”—2 Corinthians 3:17-18

“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.”—Ephesians 3:12

“But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation”—Colossians 1:22

Then I wrote down in my newest journal entry what I believed to be the voice of my Father saying, “What good would it be to have my light if you hid it in your shame?”  And yet another verse was brought to my mind. 

“You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”—Matthew 5:14-16

A child finds love in seeing their parents face.  This happens before they can understand words or speak themselves, and in the same fashion we find our worth and acceptance in seeing the face of God.  It’s an utterly terrifying idea but at the same time I know Jesus wants me to look intently into His face.  I met with Jesus that night. 

“Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.”—Matthew 5:8