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So I began writing out a bit more of my testimony but I never got a chance to finish it.  I erased all my paragraphs I wrote earlier now after a steaming pile of sin forced me to seek Grace.  Now I am looking at my Savior from a new angle; it feels more like from the ground up.  Or back on the ground if you will.

Seriously, what I find more dangerous than a murderer is a girl like me.  All presumptuous and proper.  I've got everything right and put together in one place.  In fact I might have dared to think myself better than you.  See, more so than a dead body to deal with at the end of a day's work, my sin secretly tries to hide behind a nice clean façade with no one to call it out.  That is, until my sin meets the Holy Spirit.  That's why I would like to say that my testimony is more a miracle than anything else.  I don't have any seemingly good explanation for why I need Jesus Christ's forgiveness and peace with God except that in comparison to His perfection, I have a need for Him more than ever!  

Oh, my do I need it.  I'm not kidding anyone I'm in need of forgiveness that I have hurt with my pride and words in the past 24 hours.  This isn't an attempt to make light of sin or an effort of propitiation by finding enough "shame on you's" or relative comparisons to try and ease my conscience.  I'm just so utterly THANKFUL to God for His grace and His patience to keep teaching me, a "knucklehead" as my pastor would say.  Again, learning to remain "washed by the water" (I just broke out into song).

This is why I believe that Christ has changed my life and is continuing to.  I am living in a body that once was dead.  In this life I still groan with eager expectation and hope that He will transform my lowly body so that it will one day be like His glorious body.  Thank God that process begins here and now.  Thank God!

"Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"--Romans 7:25






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