An Unassuming Cure

My spiritual life has been so dry for so long. It's a bit confusing because I realized it's not for lack of hearing God's voice, or feeling His presence, but it's just felt like “business as usual.” I compare it to when you do life next to your spouse for a while—dishes, budget, put the kids to bed—and in that week-in, week-out mix, you forget that they aren't just your roommate or business associate.

Recently though, I've entered a trial of faith and I never thought I could be so thankful for one in all my life while still in the midst of it. Sure, I'm rather thankful afterwards for many of the things God's taken me through, but I've never been smack-dab in the time of waiting or pain and said, "At last! A trial of various kinds!"

I can't tell if this trial is just smaller in comparison to a few I've been through before, or if with this one I'm experiencing the fruit of having fervently walked with Jesus for about fifteen years. I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, “Remember when I...” and He was referring to my not so distant past. With those many reminders I couldn't be afraid or lose trust, even if I tried.

So, I sheepishly admit to attending the worship nights, downloading the new albums, and going to the altar to receive prayer because I know my heart needs revival. But I have found my unassuming cure. How sweet—how sweet to trust in Jesus and how delightful to feel the Father's testing. I know He treats me as a daughter. Thank you for loving me this much, Dad. Thank you.

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. --Hebrews 12:6

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Tucker's Birth Story

Tucker Jason Rhys was born on October 30th, 2023 at 3:18pm in the afternoon though I say his birth story started four months earlier in June. In June we were packing up our family and lives in Africa to come back to America for a year. With two small kids and me being six month pregnant, Steven and I still thought it would be worth the effort to stop in Paris for a layover and do a couple Frenchy things like eat a croissant and see the Eiffel Tower. It’s a “perk” of the job I tell myself—every flight path inevitably goes through Europe. We booked tickets that took us through Paris and then onto America. After booking everything we hit a snag—Farrah’s passport was set to expire in September and apparently France requires three months of validity left on a US passport before giving a visa to visit their country. She only had two months left before she needed to renew hers. (I'm getting to the birth, I promise…) Up until that last week on our island as we were packing our bags ...

Alabaster Flask

What a privilege to have something so valuable to my heart that its very surrender is seen as the utmost form of worship. Abraham had Isaac. Hannah had her son. The sinful woman had the alabaster flask. The Father had the Son, and the Son had His very life. How grateful am I to have been given something so dear, very dear, to my heart that I may surrender it as worship to God. Maybe a few tears as well. "Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, 'Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.' But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, 'Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me.'"--Matthew 26:6-10

Simplicity and Sufficiency

I wrote this in a journal entry dated November 26th, 2010. I feel it's a good reminder, and I pray God would bring me back to this simplicity: “Learning, Learning that Christ is sufficient in Himself. If I never get a degree, get a job, get a husband. If I never see the next sunrise, Christ at this very moment will suffice. I know this full-well by His overwhelming patience with me. To teach me now to trust, and walk, and cry with Him. My hip is torn from the socket. I want to deliver all limbs to submission. The greatest being my own arm that has held tightly to my own heart. Help me to understand what you are doing, Lord. I cry out for understanding...I believe your word has promised hope through Christ (Romans 4). It’s awesome! I long for that to be my only boast (Galatians 6:18)" "And I--in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness."--Psalm 17:15

Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

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