Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

Day One:  March 20 th , 2011 Kansas is where I find myself this evening.  Praise God for the spark of electricity to let me type these few lines.  It’s Spring break and I’m half way in my journey to Dallas.  Already, I’ve felt God’s tugging on my heart that this trip is meant for more than just sun and Chick-fil-A.  Would you care to come along?  Read as much or as little as you like. God has already exposed the folly of my heart to judge the Mennonite community of Hesston, Kansas.  I stood in the buffet line and looked upon the woman in teal with a heart of distaste.  I don’t even really know what it was about her.  I just found myself disliking her way of worship, or even amount of food she was eating.  Anything that came to mind I found a fault in.  Ouch.  I didn’t expect to feel conviction about this, but then again the hateful thoughts (gasp!) of my heart should be no news to me.  I knew it couldn’t be right. ...

"Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers; may your mercy come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need."--Psalm 79:8 Earlier this week I was rummaging through my brain, trying to grasp the full capacity of why we need Christ.  I mean, I can go through the all the motions in a day without fully understanding the good news that we are redeemed.  Why must we be redeemed?  Why is Christ necessary? Today during work, I began to feel heavy-hearted.  I know some marriages that are struggling--makes no difference if they're believers or not.  I pridefully wish that we as followers of Christ could look on at the world and say we have things figured out compared to the "rest".  That's when my heart sunk to my feet.  Jesus.  We all NEED you. I have heard it before and I see more, that only with realization and acknowledgement of sin can we then accept salvation through Jesus Christ. "There is no difference, for all have sinned and fal...

     Hmm...ballet?  What's so special about ballet?  Well kids, it was a whole other world.  Let's just say I matured in many ways being in that world, only to leave it and find I neglected to grow up in others.  I don't think I really even noticed boys were "nice" until the age of 18.  But believe me, God knew I couldn't take growing up all at once.  He's been doing it in pieces.  I'm thankful I went through this sort of heartache of losing it because it was something I had embroidered on my heart.  Removing that was painful at the time, but I'm thankful that it's no longer my identity.  My heart's title now can say "child of God". This weekend I was fortunate enough to perform a little bit with the re-formed ballet company (another glorifying story for another post entirely).  I stood off on stage left watching adorable dancers moving to some Frank Sinatra.  At first I started to cry because a part of me still gr...

I've had this weird battle going on...I've been afraid to open the Word.  As if when I do, I'll be so overcome with conviction because I don't love God enough or in the way I should love Him.  True, at this state, I don't love Christ as I ought to; but there's gotta be something wrong with this picture. Oh yeah, Alicia Christine, you are a child of God.  (See John 1:12)    What?  You mean, I have been selling the gospel short?  NOT to make this a man-centered gospel, but I have been believing the lie that I have to do, and do, and DO just to be okay with our Heavenly Father.   Suddenly, I  pictured myself with my hair all greasy (not hard to imagine right now), and dirt/mud/blood/oil/grease--yes, all the disgusting elements of filth contaminating my skin, at the foot of God's throne.  But, I didn't feel shame because of Who was standing next to me.  How cool!?  Very.  "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence...

I've been praying for a certain person for some time now.  Oh, believe me, it's nothing compared to how long others have labored in prayer for a friend. And definitely nothing compared to how long Israel waited for Christ to finally come.  However, sometimes this amount of prayer seems to put the persistent widow to shame. As it is late, I am trying to fall asleep. God has reminded me tonight that He is just and right in what He chooses to do.  I will still praise Him. "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."--Habakkuk 3:17-18

"The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.  The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me."--Psalm 116:5-6 I am so amazed at how the God of the universe cares for the littlest things in our hearts.  Those deep thoughts that we dare not speak aloud.  My journal got a beating today...about five pages.  Most of it is the same block that my heart runs around time and again.  I am sure God is tired, oh so tired, of hearing me.  Yet, I am reminded by His word that He cares.