Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."--John 8:36 I'm embarrassed to say that I've been living for other people. It was bound to come out sometime, but I was not really aware of it until I found myself re-routing my whole life to avoid the "pain" of disappointing others. I went along with it for a while, but knowing at some point it was going to have to end. The Holy Spirit gave me a picture a few weeks ago of a woman with an arrow piercing through her stomach. The arrow was tied to a string on both ends which lifted her entire body off the ground towards the sky. She was clearly in pain--teetering along and standing only on a tight rope--hoping to not make any sudden movements as to avoid the sharp pain through her side. A week later I realized I was the woman, and the arrow I was avoiding was the fear of disappointing people. It seems almost abruptly I made some necessary but difficult decisions that hurt my pride. However, ever ...

Jesus Appears to Thomas 24  Now Thomas  (also known as Didymus [ a ] ), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came.   25  So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side,  I will not believe.” 26  A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said,  “Peace  be with you!”   27  Then he said to Thomas,  “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” 28  Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29  Then Jesus told him,  “Because you have seen me, you have believed;  blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” Forgive me, but I have thought Thomas to be such an idiot. ...

The feat of writing a post and explanation for what happened this past weekend has kept me from even attempting it for some days now.  How do you describe miracles but not as to cheapen the treasure of their testimony? First I must begin to explain who this man Steven is, and who he someday will be.  Skeptical, I have been for some years now which is why I categorize his existence as a miracle. He is strong.  Meek.  Authoritative in speech, and yet the most gentle of men.  He hates all the usual things like Wal-Mart and loves all the usual authors like G.K. Chesterton.  His brokenness before the Lord was what set him apart from the crowd for me.  I honor this man with words of encouragement. "Steven, you are dearly loved and anointed by Jesus.  Not because you have done great things for Him, but because your heart longs to make Him the focus.  You know He is good even in the desert seasons.  You have chosen Jesus.  You have a ...

"How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you."--Psalm 31:19 A year ago today I received a text message asking, "Are you going to France today?" My friend was correct.  I was at the gate at Eppley Airfield about to board my plane on my route towards Europe.   France would not have been nearly so sweet had the Lord not allowed the hard seasons before-hand.  I spent some recent summer moments sitting under the stars with this same friend and breathing in God's goodness.  I knew He had been storing up good moments like that for the future.  All that waiting finally made sense. We can remember--my avid followers--how I waited nearly two months before I finally got to see the Eiffel Tower while over there.  I believe the wait was for that perfect moment when I first saw it.  God was not keeping anything from me, but storing up as the verse in Psa...

I am frustrated and I feel convicted for the watered down message I, myself, preach.  I don't want to be too serious about sin.  I don't want to get on someone's bad side.  I jump around the depravity of man so I won't be hated, but I sometimes persuade people to pray a prayer and yet hardly address the need for repentance. I need to stop befriending people into hell.  I want to be honest, but also realize I can't save anyone, and I certainly did not find Jesus on my own. Unless we repent from our sin, we will never taste the goodness of Christ. Despise sin.  Pursue Jesus. "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes:  first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."--Romans 1:16

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I ever really liked dancing. I was driving today and this fourth grader grabbed my attention in the car next to me.  He was grinning at me, waving profusely.  I smiled and gave a little nod and waved back to him.  I don't have children, but I understand we more clearly see the nature of the human heart in a child, unadulterated by the need to keep up appearances.  The boy wanted to be noticed.  As do I. As my eyes went back to the road I remembered doing the same things when I was in fourth grade.  That was the age I first auditioned for the Nutcracker.  Then and there, I was chosen, accepted, and noticed for what felt like the first time. To be honest with myself, I've had plenty of opportunities to return to the stage after leaving ballet five years ago.  I have made appearances a few times and if I really pressed hard, I think I could have gone back into it as more than a hobby.  But, al...

In light of what I perceive to be "shortcomings" with following Jesus--though we have been learning that is ridiculous to think we had anything to do with our salvation--but, I was wondering, why didn't Jesus choose to come back after all the apostles were martyred?  They lived completely, wholeheartedly for Him.  I live comfortably.  It doesn't appear that I am doing anything presently that would get me killed for Christ.  I live in America. But He chose to endure the blaspheme of His Name, the incorrect interpretation of His scriptures, the loss of so much of His creation, to find that in 1989 one girl would bring Him pleasure to save.  He endured the crucifixion to have relationship with a woman that seems to not do much for Him in the natural. Talk about a love that I cannot explain. I could gather from all this that it seems I am His favorite. Take heart beloved, you are far more loved than you thought.  You are His favorite. "Do not be afr...