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Fin des Voyages and Psalm 84:11


It took about two solid months before I could step outside of my house in Chambéry and not be overcome with culture shock.  It was a feeling of an immense amount of vulnerability.  "Oh yeah...I'm in FRANCE," and I didn't have the simple security of a cell phone either.  This is my last week here and I realized I finally feel at home, but the hole in my heart for America grows bigger still.

After this semester abroad, the false sense of security I've lived under in the US has been exposed.  I've been sitting under the covers of my bed all my life to try and protect myself from tragedy.  (Though as an aside, I have no country or place in mind yet, and God could very well call me to live in Nebraska the rest of my life. If you happen to find out, let me know.)

My next thoughts went as follows:  "If I am to live radically for Christ (whatever that might look like for me) I cannot be scared of people nor the enemy of this world."  God even caught me thinking, "Okay Father, sure...You can take me anywhere You'd like, and if I end up dying, well I suppose that will be... okay...but I'd rather not."  Bravo.

And suddenly I felt Him say to me, "HEY you!  Stop!  I wouldn't withhold anything good from you (Psalm 84:11) Nor does that mean bring you home to my kingdom unless it was the BEST for you.  Now, cheer up!  What use would you be right now sulking about the day you'll 'die for me'?  This is not the martydom I've called you to.  Zeal for My house shall consume you.  This is where it will start.  Not some self-focused, self-sacrifice."

 Therefore, may it be world travels, He'll bring it. Heartbreak, He'll allow it. Friendships, He'll provide;  and all to bring me into the freedom and understanding of Himself and who He really is.  For He is the good thing that He will not withhold.

 11 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."--Psalm 84:11
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  1. CaseyDecember 17, 2012 at 9:21 AM

    Wow. I can tell the Lord is really pouring revelation into your heart. It's been an honor reading your posts and seeing your heart transform under his tender hand. Those with willing hearts He will use. Whether in America or overseas, that's not important. What is important is the state of your heart and your longing for Him. He is faithful and will open/close doors at the right time. Have a fantastic last week in France and a wonderful holiday with your family :)

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  2. AnouchkaDecember 17, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    J'ai hate de te voir apres ta rentree! On va pouvoir parler de pleine de choses! :) A tres bientot, cherie!

    ReplyDelete

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