Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

Three nights ago I was flipping through a few red Moleskin journals from about a year ago.   They are lined with apologies.   Last week I went to a young adult group and heard a sermon on condemnation and the freedom we have from it in Christ.   Two weeks ago a dear friend prayed for me, “You’re head is down, but when you’re ready He wants to show you Himself.”   And two months ago, I received more prayer that said, “God wants you to know your worth”. The same night I was reading the red journal entries I kept thinking of that verse, “One thing I ask Lord, this is what I seek:   that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple.”—Psalm 27:4   As I began to pray I found it was really hard to remove my hands from my face.   The utter idea of Jesus seeing me for who I am made me start to cry.   I couldn’t remove my hands as they grew wet with my tears.   I felt God...

I was going for a drive in my car this evening.   Ever since I sold books, I drive more now with the wind whipping through my hair and music louder than ever before.   Praying on the drive tonight, I began praising and simply acknowledging what God has taught me and matured me in these past few years.   With all that said, it came along with what I hope God changes in my heart.   I said things like, “Lord, wow how you’ve grown my dependence on you and returned my identity from what men think to what YOU think…”   Pretty cool healing has gone on (annndd will continue..). Not long after, I was pondering about His kingdom coming on this earth as it is in heaven.   I get down thinking I’m not obedient to inklings of His Spirit, or I don’t have enough faith!   I want to witness miracles, healings of the sick like the lame, diabetic, cancer, and death.   God, what has gone wrong with me or this generation?   As I got home I turned to John 14:12-...

Warning:  Open-hearted thoughts are stated and words like "intimacy" are used. Here I am on the brink of my twenty-second year.   It feels good.   I feel like I’ve climbed a tall mountain and now I’m at the top, and as I look down on the vast expanse below I think, “how did I get here?”   God has accomplished so much in my heart.   Let us praise Him! I’ve changed a lot this past year.   It’s not like I’ve lost ten pounds and got a tattoo of the Jesus fish on my ankle.   The difference is in the dark night of the soul.   It’s almost like when Crayola came out with the 24 box of crayons, then the set of 50, then the box of 100.   They added colors to the box of ten crayons that you didn’t know could exist.   In the end you’re glad for it, because it makes your picture much brighter.   Silly analogy?   I suppose, but that’s all I got. One year ago today I was praying for what God would want for year twenty-one.   “Just Me ...

First things first.   Dear Bookfiled, I wish you would stop haunting me with thoughts of Mrs. Jones or a creepy house.   However, with every day that goes by, God is kind enough to show me how to appreciate you.   I was reading in an old journal from a year ago.   I actually prayed the words, “Lord, sanctify my obedience and trust.”   I even was asking for forgiveness because I know I complain a lot.   Wow did I EVER get what I prayed for?   Sometimes those are like “broccoli prayers”.   You know they’re good for you, just perhaps not tasty at the time.     “This is the confidence we have in approaching God:   that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.   And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”—1 John 5:14-15 Love,                Al è tcha Second things second. Dear Alicia,   ...

Many apologies extended to my three readers.   I know I never posted an ending to my summer excursions.   I’m sitting in the familiar orange chair at my Starbucks and I am trying to form sentences to finish off this adventure.   Slurring through my thoughts I am almost hostile with my thinking. “What the heck just happened to me?”   I won’t know for a long time, my friends.   Your guess is as good as mine.   I think God will use it for years to come.    “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the  glory  that will be  revealed  in us.”—Romans 8:18 Here’s a friendly reminder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=157ng8tkMDI

Windmills don't move.  They stand alone.  That wheel spins, and spins, and spins, but it gets nowhere.  However, on the inside electricity is being created for great currents of strength. I've been going like that windmill.  Seemingly I am going nowhere, but it is Christ that resurrects great power and strength inside of me that I cannot see.  His work is powerful and will be used for a noble purpose, even if I cannot see it being formed. "He said to me, 'You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.'"--Isaiah 49:3

No time to talk.  Let's just say in a bit I will reminisce on what God is teaching me, but for now this is all I have: As my brother-in-law put it, "It's not in the beginning of a time of fasting when you realize why God brought you to that place, but it's at the end.  It's when the hunger pains begin that we can either one--plan our first meal, or two--seek out understanding." This also reflects Jesus' life on earth as well.  It wasn't until the end of his life that he finally said, "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say?  'Father, save me from this hour'?  No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name!"--John 12:27-28 Father, glorify your name!