Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

Two weeks ago I attended the Onething conference at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City.  This was my first time going down there.  It had been a while since I've been able to engage in corporate worship, and it doesn't get much more corporate than 30,000 people this side of heaven. The music began to play and I was surprised how resistant my mind was to forgetting what lies behind and going to God in song. "Go over to the dance area," He said. "No...I really am fine over here, God" (about a minute later) "But, God, I want more of you!  I want to freely worship without distractions!" "Then obey Me." I have always somewhat feared the role of God called the Holy Spirit.  I've thought that to receive more of Him it meant seizing on the floor and foaming at the mouth uncontrollably (the latter is obviously an exaggeration).  However, with the simple act of obedience, those things that bound my mind from freedom to wo...

I have four more hours of waiting in Charles de Gaulle airport before my flight leaves for America.  I wish I could say I am crying because my adventure is over, but the sad emotions have lost to those that are excited to see home.  (Plus, Christmas is around the corner and what is better than that?!) I don't know where to begin in recapping my travels through France and Europe.  I am more than grateful, and I feel fulfilled in a weird way.  I have this mental checklist in my brain and save for one or two things I've always wanted in life, it's nearly complete.  It's weird to say that at the age of 23, and to be able to look forward to the unknown chapters.  We shall see what that has in store. May I leave you with one last quote from Eric Ludy that seems to perfectly sum up what I have found to be true in this past season: “We believe that the true Christian experience is epic and grand, a sort of Jane Austen meets Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings . It’...

It took about two solid months before I could step outside of my house in Chamb éry and not be overcome with culture shock.  It was a feeling of an immense amount of vulnerability.   "Oh   yeah...I'm in FRANCE,"  and I  didn't have the simple security of a cell phone either.   This is my last week here and I realized I finally feel at home, but the hole in my heart for America grows bigger still. After this semester abroad, the false sense of security I've lived under in the US has been exposed.  I've been sitting under the covers of my bed all my life to try and protect myself from tragedy.  (Though as an aside, I have no country or place in mind yet, and God could very well call me to live in Nebraska the rest of my life. If you happen to find out, let me know.) My next thoughts went as follows:   "If I am to live radically for Christ (whatever that might look like for me) I cannot be scared of people nor the enemy of this ...

The previous post about Advent was a decoy...deterring from my heart and what was actually going on.  Now, I owe it to you.  I'm going to be simple, blunt, and ooey-gooey. God is constantly reminding me of my need for Him.  To expound on the verse I had posted previously, He sometimes subjects me to frustration in order to find me curled up in a corner (literally, I'm in the corner of my room by the heater), angry, frustrated, and at the end of myself. Sometimes He has to subject myself to my own frustrations so that I might learn my need and how to depend upon Him more, and more, and MORE. "For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God."--Romans 8:20-21 I found myself dealing with heart issues of years gone by today.   "Hey, I thought I got rid ...

I've been thinking about the Advent season lately.  Christmas is my absolutely favorite time of year because it gives me plenty of new perspective on the incarnation.  Perhaps this may assist you as well. ad·vent   [ ad -vent ]   noun 1.  a coming into place, view, or being; arrival:  the advent of the holiday season . 2.  ( usually initial capital letter ) the coming of Christ into the world. 3.  ( initial capital letter ) the period beginning four Sundays before Christmas, observed in commemoration of the coming of Christ into the world. 4.  ( usually initial capital letter )  Second Coming. So we continue to wait, even after His first appearing.  The Bible even tells us the world groans with eager expectation.  Even the world cries out in earthquakes, floods, and storms to be reconciled under Christ. "The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.   For the cr...

On Monday November 12th, 2012 at 12:02  in the afternoon, my heart stopped beating and I took my last breath. Inhaled, and nothing came out. Save for the eyes rolling in the back of my head and actually dying, my life ended.  Some may think, and others may know, I'm a dramatic person, but that is the most realistic description I can give for when I mounted the tiny hill of the Pont Neuf overlooking the Seine river. What took my breath away (literally, no respiratory action of and kind) was possibly the worst view of the Eiffel Tower. All I saw was her spear engulfed in the Paris fog. I realized I had up until that moment doubted her existence all these years. I took a picture of that horrible view because I know it will be one of the most cherished pictures of my life. I walked across the Seine on the Pont Neuf connecting the 1st Arrondissement in the city to the Latin Quartier. I started to laugh. Then started to cry. I seized with His inexpressible joy. T...

"They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."--Revelation 12:11 We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.  It does not say I overcome by intellect and reasoning of my human mind (see also  here ). That's all.