Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

"What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?  I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.  I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people."--Psalm 116:12-14 How do I start a blog post that can portray my zeal for the Lord?!  Y'all, I'm done with clean living and only going "so far" before people think I'm nuts.  I think that verdict has long been since decided.  In the verse the psalmist is writing about the goodness of the Lord.  In these last minute trials before I leave for France I have to thank God publicly for His goodness to me!  Hence, why I blog.  It's the only thing I can do in return for Him. After the uncertainty with my student loan business, I was asking the Father what His purpose was in this whole ordeal.  I kept getting this picture of Jesus and I being "neighbors" of sorts.  We wave "hi" and "good morning" as we mow our lawns but thing...

I am sitting in the UNO Arts and Sciences building right now.  Waiting...waiting...waiting upon the Lord to do something.  I didn't expect this whole road block on my way to France. Worst-case scenario:  I go next semester instead.  I know He wants me to go. Best-case scenario:  I go this semester on a grant or something! " Jesus asked the boy's father, 'How long has he been like this?'  'From childhood,' he answered.  ' It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.'   'If you can'? said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for him who believes.' ' Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'" --Mark 9:21-24 I feel like the man in the gospels that cried out to Jesus for my unbelief that He could change my situation.  I hate grieving the Holy Spirit in my doubting.   He provided quail and manna for Isr...

I'm going to start by being happy these days.  The old self and valley woes are now leaving and a new season has begun.  Praise Jesus!  One of my life-long dreams is now coming true and I am going to FRANCE for a study abroad for four months!  I'm ready to get my fill of ohh-la-la's, escargots, and c afé  au laits. I think La France will treat me well for a season.  I believe my blog will take a turn for the better and probably a little more bearable to read.  I am thankful for the valleys, but now oh so excited for the promised land.  I'm learning in this process that God really does want to give good gifts to His beloved.   Ever since I was young I've had this cockeyed dream of going to gay ole Paris (pronounced Pair-ree, of course) and sitting outside in a c afé drinking Pellegrino and writing.  Some may say, "why Alicia, you do that  here in Nebraska?!"  I know, but I hope to "find myself in Paris" like Sabrina did ...

“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. ”—Deuteronomy 8:2 I write this next post at the expense of my own reputation.  I think that’s one idol I need to smash.  Boy has this week/past couple of days put me in the belly of a fish.  I have found myself at the end of my Nineveh journey angry and bitter.  How dare God bring me out here?  Now don't stop reading because you think this blog is one big lamentation, I’ll have you know the JOY I’ve found in this stupid thing I call selling books.  Some are probably wondering why I'm doing this anyway.  I'm not sure yet, but I'm starting to get some perspective. I’ve been angry, but embarrassed of my anger.  I’m embarrassed because I didn’t know I could get like this.  I’m realizing that I’m not the kind humble creature I once owned up ...