Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

Somehow I keep looking over my shoulder wondering what God is going to do next.  Remembering some painful memories of the past, I still find I live in fear of repeating those situations that caused some moments of overwhelming grief. Deciding to look through what the Bible has to say about pain (as if I shouldn't have done this a few months ago...) I ran into John 16:21: "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world." Therefore, the labor pains of realizing Christ as my JOY will not be repeated. The child of JOY in Christ, the-all-sufficient, has already been labored for.  And if He has been established as our joy, any other pain will not overwhelm. " So this is what the Sovereign LORD says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious  cornerstone  for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricke

I was holding my fragile glass heart tonight. "Will you please care for this?"  I asked around. The world's response was to knock it out of my hands, and at the feet of Jesus though I wasn't aiming for Him.  The aroma from the heart, which was apparently a jar of perfume, was reaching His nose.  He found it pleasing to Him. Though my hope was to keep the heart and never let it get broken, the fact that I didn't offer it to God in the first place suddenly came to mind. "I should have handed it to the Father first...oh no, is He mad?" I thought. Foolishly trying to fix the situation and bending down to gather the pieces and the oil, I felt a hand stop what I was doing. "I desire mercy, not sacrifice,"  I was raised to my feet.  I was in His arms.  It seemed that was what He was after all along. The sacrifice (though not entirely willful) made me all the more acutely aware of the fact that I do not love Christ as I should.  Only He