Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

I am frustrated and I feel convicted for the watered down message I, myself, preach.  I don't want to be too serious about sin.  I don't want to get on someone's bad side.  I jump around the depravity of man so I won't be hated, but I sometimes persuade people to pray a prayer and yet hardly address the need for repentance. I need to stop befriending people into hell.  I want to be honest, but also realize I can't save anyone, and I certainly did not find Jesus on my own. Unless we repent from our sin, we will never taste the goodness of Christ. Despise sin.  Pursue Jesus. "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes:  first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."--Romans 1:16

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I ever really liked dancing. I was driving today and this fourth grader grabbed my attention in the car next to me.  He was grinning at me, waving profusely.  I smiled and gave a little nod and waved back to him.  I don't have children, but I understand we more clearly see the nature of the human heart in a child, unadulterated by the need to keep up appearances.  The boy wanted to be noticed.  As do I. As my eyes went back to the road I remembered doing the same things when I was in fourth grade.  That was the age I first auditioned for the Nutcracker.  Then and there, I was chosen, accepted, and noticed for what felt like the first time. To be honest with myself, I've had plenty of opportunities to return to the stage after leaving ballet five years ago.  I have made appearances a few times and if I really pressed hard, I think I could have gone back into it as more than a hobby.  But, almost as if I don't have

In light of what I perceive to be "shortcomings" with following Jesus--though we have been learning that is ridiculous to think we had anything to do with our salvation--but, I was wondering, why didn't Jesus choose to come back after all the apostles were martyred?  They lived completely, wholeheartedly for Him.  I live comfortably.  It doesn't appear that I am doing anything presently that would get me killed for Christ.  I live in America. But He chose to endure the blaspheme of His Name, the incorrect interpretation of His scriptures, the loss of so much of His creation, to find that in 1989 one girl would bring Him pleasure to save.  He endured the crucifixion to have relationship with a woman that seems to not do much for Him in the natural. Talk about a love that I cannot explain. I could gather from all this that it seems I am His favorite. Take heart beloved, you are far more loved than you thought.  You are His favorite. "Do not be afraid, l