Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it

So I've been carrying this weight around.  Jesus told me to empty my pockets the other day and I didn't realize what he was talking about. Religion rocks, my dear, I've come to find out. You see, I grew up in a Christian home.  Then, Jesus saved me.  So if the Devil can't get me with drugs or abuse, he'll get me with rules and regulations until I'm weighed down, unable to move. "Don't you dare lead on a man, young lady." "Be a submissive woman." "Dress appropriately." "Christian women are quiet." "Christian women blah blah blah." Actually, my western-Christian-world view friend, Christian women LOVE Jesus.  That's it.  Those many sermons I've heard over the years on godly femininity evoke wisdom, but they are not my identity or salvation--no matter how many times I've read Proverbs 31. I realized I was putting all my bets on a lifestyle instead of a Savior when God brought about

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."--1 Peter 2:9 There are so many times in my post-college graduation existence (these past two weeks) that I've been asked just what I'm going to do with my life.   I want to make much of Jesus. Can that be enough?  Whether I eat or drink, I'm enjoying Him.  I don't blame people for asking because they are probably just curious about my j-o-b.  I, myself, have started asking that same question...which translates into, "am I doing enough for you Jesus?" Not only have I felt a stronger pull to be in His courts worshiping, but on this side of heaven I have to have the faith that He is listening.  It can be harder to sit here and grow deeper in His Presence than to start out in a ministry or feel "useful" at church.  The former renders results that w

WE. ALL. DON'T. LOVE. JESUS. AS. WE. SHOULD.   To put it plainly, I wanted to live under a rock today and be left alone to my devotions, my songs, and my journal.  Perhaps it would be better for me and for God if I was all alone.  It would be "easier" to be alone with Jesus--I've learned that well--than to go to church on a Sunday and get involved with people.  I wouldn't have to face disappointing Christ anymore.  That's what brings the grief.   "Papa, I'm tired of disappointing you!" The only problem with this fear of  disappointing  God is the gospel.   And by gospel, I mean, Jesus and everything He came and did.   Just because I don't see my sin displayed, doesn't mean that I still wouldn't be a hater of God.  So, if I only preach one sermon the rest of my life, it may not be to the unbeliever.  It may very well have to be to the sinner-gone-good-girl trying to protect their appearances under the boulder.     YOU. CANNOT.